Thou Shalt Deny Me

Peter's Betrayal by Carl Bloch source

Today in Sunday School I taught an interesting lesson about the time of the Crucifixion. As with most of my lessons, I feel I am the one to come away having learned far more than the teens I teach. They are all spiritually empowered and are always asking the right questions. At the beginning of the year I encouraged them to find a scriptural question about each lesson. Something hard and something they really wanted to know the answer to. If I did not have an answer and proof for my answer by the end of class, then I would bring treats. There was only one rule, the question had to be answerable through study. Teenagers are extremely motivated by treats, so you can bet they would try and come up with hard ones. For the first several lessons I was on top of things. I studied hard, read the lessons, and read many other resources. Lately things have been slowly slipping into chaos, but I still keep a pretty good hold on my lessons and the questions they ask. Today I was asked a question that stumped me at first.

"Why would Peter, the apostle who just smote off the ear of a man in Jesus' defense, turn around and deny knowing Christ three times before morning?"

I did not know the answer. By all means, it didn't make sense. How could this courageous and stalwart man, Peter the Rock, be so easily turned from his knowledge of Christ? I pondered and was just as curious. I was also reminded though, of his falter while walking on the water. Doubt. It is such a small word for the impact it can have on our lives and on our faith. After thinking about this question an answer came to me. "Satan knows how to tempt us and how to make us forget.

I thought long and hard about Peter's situation. He had just struggled to stay awake all night in the Garden of Gethsemane while the Savior suffered for the sins of the world. Then a mob shows up at the gate, Judas leading the way, and he smites off the ear of a mob member. I can only imagine his anger, frustration, and the betrayal he must have felt. Christ then heals the man and simply lets them take him away. The other disciples depart, aka run away, but Peter and John follow the mob to the place where a "Jewish trial" takes place.

I imagine Peter standing outside and a girl points him out. "Hey, you were always with that Jesus guy from Galilee." I imagine Peter looking around, behind him, back to the girl, and then pointing to himself. "Who me? I don't know what you are talking about." He starts to walk away and another woman sees him. "Hey, this guy was hanging out with Jesus." This is another statement, not a question. Peter however, again is defensive. He says, "I don't know that man." He is starting to attract attention and a few people gather around. They say, "We know you have to be one of his followers. Your words betray your real meaning." By this point Peter is overwhelmed and says, amongst some oaths and curses, "I do not know that man."

Satan knew exactly how to put Peter in a situation where he would deny knowing Christ. He also made him momentarily forget all of the truths he had learned. Satan knew that Peter, the man who has walked by Christ's side for years, had walked on water with him, would deny even knowing him. What if it would have been another man with a sword asking Peter if he knew Christ? Would Peter have denied it? Maybe. Or not. If confronted with that situation I would think brave Peter, armed and dangerous, might whip his sword back out and send appendages flying, defending the name of Christ with all his strength. Instead he is approached by a harmless servant girl. Who would have guessed that she of all people could cause even one of the most stalwart to deny his testimony?

I see this painting by Carl Bloch. There is Christ, looking over his shoulder, the next place your eye travels to after you see Peter, standing so ashamed. How it must have hurt Christ. Even though he knew Peter would deny him, prophecies of it that very night, how hard it must have been to know that one of your closest friends and supporters could deny you at such a crucial moment. How hurtful it must be for him when we do the same.

President Gordon B. Hinkley put it into perspective for me.

“My heart goes out to Peter. So many of us are so much like him. We pledge our loyalty; we affirm our determination to be of good courage; we declare, sometimes even publicly, that come what may we will do the right thing, that we will stand for the right cause, that we will be true to ourselves and to others.

“Then the pressures begin to build. Sometimes these are social pressures. Sometimes they are personal appetites. Sometimes they are false ambitions. There is a weakening of the will. There is a softening of discipline. There is capitulation. And then there is remorse, followed by self-accusation and bitter tears of regret. …

“… If there be those throughout the Church who by word or act have denied the faith, I pray that you may draw comfort and resolution from the example of Peter, who, though he had walked daily with Jesus, in an hour of extremity momentarily denied the Lord and also the testimony which he carried in his own heart. But he rose above this and became a mighty defender and a powerful advocate. So, too, there is a way for any person to turn about and add his or her strength and faith to the strength and faith of others in building the kingdom of God” (“And Peter Went Out and Wept Bitterly,” Ensign, Mar. 1995, 2–4, 6).

So why did he do it? Why do we do it? How can the strong and the stalwart be so persuaded and prone to selective forgetfulness? Fear, guilt, shamefulness, doubt, pride. You name it. Satan knows how to put us in the right situations at the exact wrong time. I truly believe that. I also believe that we can recover. We have not walked with Christ in person, but we can always return to those places by learning more of him and trying harder to remember those small testimonies we have gleaned through pondering, prayer, and experience.

Dear, poor Peter. My heart also goes out to you. Thank you for your example, you faithfulness, and yes, even your mistakes. And thank you Sunday School class, for teaching me, yet again.